Redefining Success: Old Enough to Know What I want and young enough to do it

Old Enough To Know What I Want and Young Enough To Do It (REDEFINING SUCCESS: )
(Wednesday, 21 February 2007) Written by Ivory

I continue to get questions from both the young and the experienced about success. The young and the experienced have the same question: How can I be successful? To both my response is two-fold:

1. The first is that success is in the eyes of the beholder. For the young, it changes daily; sometimes momentarily depending on what they see and hear. At this stage, they are very much into peer relationships, discoveries of their own powers, and a perpetual search for who they are. The trial and error of what's good and what's not, is a process that simply must take place since many are fresh away from their parents and what they have been taught to survive childhood.

2. The second is that success is never final. Once the known objective is achieved, another one emerges, however for the experienced person, there is an arsenal of experience to decide what to through away and what to keep. The price of experience is youth. As the youth start to fade, the experience becomes a powerful weapon for sorting out success.

The healthy person approaching later seasons of life is having the time of his/her life. They are clear that somethings do not work. Mostly, they are clear that even if they do work--the option to pass is at hand.

Redefining success for me has meant that I have at my disposal both youth and experience. I truly believe that most of us are about as young as we make up our minds to be. I have seen people who are chronologically young who are physically and mentally middle aged. I have seen middle aged and older who would put many "young" to shame.

As for me, I am old enough to know what I want to do and young enough to do it. More powerful than that is that as I get older, I find that it is not in the "getting" unless that getting is understanding; it is in the being. I am not so much into what I can have as much as what I am and what I am becoming. The more I focus on me and my true purpose in life, the more excited I become about self discovery and the high stakes search for my destiny. It took me years to realize I even had a destiny and a plan for my liife. It is real!

No one can set a standard for that but me and my Maker, an audience of one, and the mounting anticipation of the journey and the destiny of my life. It is true, the best things in life really are free, however, without money, most don't get to experience the euphoria of that. In the end, we must be very clear about success and what it means to personally. Success is truly and INSIDE JOB. I have described that in a very graphic way on the video below. Enjoy.

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Love, Loneliness, Leadership, Lies, and Life

This letter is an authentic response to a European friend whom I have not met personally. We were virtually introduced and have developed a friendship on line. I have never penned my thoughts on this topic and afterwards, I was amazed at what I thought. Perhaps others are experiencing the same dilemma. I decided to share it in an UNEDITED state. I changed his name to protect his privacy. Enjoy

SPIRITUAL SERENDIPITY: LOVE, LONELINESS, LEADERSHIP, LIES, & LIFE


Mahogany (Name Changed),

SPIRITUAL SERENDIPITY: God truly intervened. Earlier as I completed my three "L's", I resisted LEADERSHIP, as I did not want to go the "business" route--I chose LIFE instead. In addition, I was dealing with the "100 mile walk (age difference), and how I would approach you with the implications of it." After I sent to you Part I of this morning's communication, I had a SUDDEN biological urge and had to leave my computer. When I returned, your second e-mail was here with the story of the 100 mile walk. It was in my heart to make a disclaimer about our age difference and was wondering how to frame it without making it an issue. The 100 mile walk said it better than I ever could. While I am younger than 65 and you are younger than 36, the generational span is there; this is a good thing because what I am going to tell you requires experience and I have it.

First of all, let NO ONE FIX YOU. The EX who told you that you are too gentle with girls is right to be an EX!! If she made that statement to you, the two of you were incompatible in the worse way.

All of my life, people have told me that I can not find the right man because I am too STRONG. They said most men are intimidated by a strong woman. I have gotten countless advice about how I am to AUGMENT the AUTHENTICITY OF WHO I AM to attract a mate. This is the largest and most fatal CONFLICT in life.

My statement was and is this: I am who I am and I love the authenticity of who I am. The minute I craft myself into someone else to attract a man; I am no longer me and as a result, I no longer need the man. For crying out loud, if I have to FOLD up for HIM to STAND UP--he is too short! Not only that, but the moment you alter who you are to fit--you must REMEMBER to be someone else every minute and every 86,200 seconds of the day to live up to the LIE of who you are not.

I have been married twice, once in my youth. (We can't remember why it did not work; just the perils of youth.) The second time for all the wrong reasons later in life; lonely, a desire to spend time with a significant other, and tired of the social scene. So I picked someone I felt I could "learn to love." That was a major mistake. I am not certain if my life was not altered forever because of it. I learned my lesson. The lesson is this: It is better to be content and alone than with someone else and miserable. The marriage lasted 18 months; the mistake is lasting forever!!! Just as you can't put your hand in the same place twice in a river, so it is with your life; the river of life just keeps on flowing. Your only choice is to wonder what your life would have been like without the "self imposed interruption."

Finally, on this subject, I will say: I have decided that I am absolutely PERFECT the way I am. It is also my belief that God has assigned the RIGHT man for me and in due season, He will allow us to meet. I believe that when my man is revealed to me, he won't feel that I am too strong; he will be amused and amazed by my knowledge and by my audacity to be all of who I am. My strength will not threaten him, it will amuse him. Even as I operate in overdrive being WRONG, he will have the strength to chuckle and give me space to figure out how wrong I am. Afterwards, he will LOVINGLY point out the discrepancy.

So Mahogany, don't rush the process. At 34, you are a young man and you need companionship. Date. Choose women you meet in church, etc. and invite them to the movie, etc; not with the intent to do anything other than share time with the opposite sex--that is important. When the time is right, God will show you Ms. Right. Don't get ahead of God!

The last thing you need is to "force feed" a relationship with a selected person, get married, start a family, and then discover God had a purpose, a person, and a plan for your life and you are unavailable for it.

Enjoy being single, enjoy being a man, and enjoy being in loving anticipation of what the master has in store for our love life. Oh by the way, she is looking for you too.

Ivory

THE PAIN OF PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION

The Pain of Personal Transformation

We find answers and the questions change. We find an opportunity that seems certain and something falls through the cracks. We are walking left but find that it is not right. Life happens. Sometimes our lives contract before they expand. We may be working hard on ourselves spiritually, doing good in the world, following our dreams, and wondering why we are still facing constrictions of all kinds-financial, emotional, physical.

Perhaps we even feel as if we've grieved the Holy Spirit and our spirituality. We feel are stuck in a dark room with no windows. We may be confused and discouraged by what appears to be a lack of progress. Many times, we don't even know it is a process. Go figure. But sometimes this is the way things work. Like a caterpillar transitioning to a butterfly; it confines itself to a tiny cocoon before it grows wings and flies, we are experiencing the darkness before the dawn. When we have done all that we know to do and things feel tight, it's easy to panic or want to act in some way to ease the feeling of constriction. We might also spin our wheels mentally, trying to understand why things are the way they are. However, there is nothing we need to do at this time other than to be patient and wait on God; The Holy Spirit is at work.

Remember, God always start with a seed; once the seed sown, we can only go to sleep and wake up. Whatever happens, don't dig it up to see if it is growing. We can cling to the awareness that we are being transformed from one stage to another. The more we surrender to the experience, the more quickly we will move through wilderness and into the opening on the other side of through. Just like a baby making its way down the birth canal, or the butterfly spinning out of the cocoon; we may feel squeezed and pushed and very uncomfortable, but if we remember that we are on our way to being born into a new reality, we will find the strength to carry on. The healthiest catapillar is no match for an emancipated butterfly.

Even as we endure the contractions of childbirth and the restraint of the butterfly; we can find peace within ourselves if we remember to trust the Holy Spirit. We can look to the natural world for inspiration as we see that all beings surrender to the process of being born and being born again. Sometimes, we just need to turn our eyes on Jesus and pray as we surrender.

In that surrender, and in the center of our own hearts, is a willingness to trust in God as we make our way through the transition. Be still and know that He Is God. He knows the plans He has for you. Jeremiah 29:11

His plan is always better than our plan.

FADE TO LIFE: When God Winks at You

When God Winks at You
Every so-called coincidence or answered prayer is God’s way of letting you know He's thinking of you.
By Squire Rushnell
You’ve had another one of those days. Everything seems uncertain. You think: Wouldn’t it be great to wake up one morning and have everything be certain? Certain in love? Certain about your job? Certain about your future? Who could you talk to about this? Bigger question, who’d listen? Tentatively your eyes drift skyward. Hello? Are you there, God? Then your mind quickly assesses the immensity of your request. You want God to listen to you, right now. How ridiculous. There are six billion people on this planet. What if they’re all calling God at the same time? You slump. Deeper into the dumps.

Then--something happens. A little silly thing. Someone you just thought about for the first time in years phones out of the blue--a silly little coincidence, so silly you shrug it off. Or a prayer you didn’t really expect to be answered--was! Immediately, your left brain repeats something you once heard: There’s a mathematical explanation for everything. “But…” you say, “mayyyyybe…it’s not just coincidence or chance!” Maybe God is communicating with you. Yes directly to you! You shake your head. Naw. Couldn’t be. But…what if God is communicating with you--in a nonverbal way--making a little miracle happen, right in front of you? After all, God doesn’t speak to people in a human voice. He’s God…He’d do something no one else could do, just to show you it’s Him! If so, that would mean that He is listening! Right? He has heard you!

What if through this odd little coincidence, or answered prayer, He’s sending you--you… out of all of those billions of people--a direct personal message of reassurance? To stop worrying? To keep the faith? That everything will be all right? Every time you receive what some call a coincidence or an answered prayer, it’s a direct and personal message of reassurance from God to you--what I call a godwink. It’s similar to when you were a kid at the dining room table. You looked up and saw someone you loved looking back. Mom or Dad or Granddad. They gave you a little wink. You had a nice feeling from that small silent communication. What did it mean? Probably--“Hey kid…I’m thinking about you right this moment. I’m proud of you. Everything is going to be all right.” That’s what a godwink is. Every so-called coincidence or answered prayer is God’s way of giving you His small, silent, communication. A little wink saying, “Hey kid! I’m thinking of you…right now!”

It’s a clear message of reassurance-that not matter how uncertain your life seems at the moment, He will help move you toward certainty. And it’s a sign that you’re never alone. In fact, you’re always on His GPS--a global positioning system I like to call God’s Positioning System…. When It's Crystal Clear In Anaheim, California, Mavis Jackson drove past the Crystal Cathedral. For twenty years, she said the same thing: “Someday I’m going to go there.” One Sunday morning, she did. Putting on her best outfit, she simply decided, “Today is the day.” Getting there early, Mavis took a seat in the middle and watched the huge three thousand-seat megachurch fill with people. She was awed as the majestic voices of the choir seemed to encircle her. She marveled at the manner in which a huge section of the glass ceiling slid open at the start of the worship was if to invite even the birds to worship. At the end of the service, Mavis stood up and waited for the aisle to clear. Trying not to sound too excited, she said to the young lady next to her, “I am so glad I came today. Wasn’t it wonderful?” The young woman nodded.
“Are you from here?” asked Mavis. “No, I’m from the Midwest,” said the young woman adding, “I’m actually here on a mission. To find my birth mother.” There was a pause. “I know how you must feel,” said Mavis. “A long time ago, I had to give up a little girl for adoption. I didn’t want to…but…” Another pause. The young woman looked deeply into Mavis’s eyes. “Do you…remember her birthday?” “Yes,” said Mavis cautiously. “October 30th.” “That’s my birthday,” gasped the young woman. That’s right! A remarkable “coincidence”--a godwink--had reunited a long-lost mother and daughter. What are the odds of that? They sat down. The young woman introduced herself as Cheryl Wallace. Cheryl explained that for years she had been haunted by the lingering uncertainty of not knowing who her birth mother was and, more important, why her mother had given her up. In her small midwest town, everyone was discouraging. “You’re looking for a needle in a haystack,” counseled the town clerk. “There’s no trace of her,” said others. Eventually a suggestion from someone who thought she’d once heard that Cheryl’s birth mother had moved to Orange County, California, led her to this time and place.

Even on her most optimistic days, Cheryl never could have forecast such a remarkable outcome--that such uncertainty would end in such certainty, in a manner that only God could have made happen. And when they confirmed that their wonderful miracle was true--that they were long-lost mother and daughter--they knew that Mother’s Day would never be the same again.

TO ADAPT IS TO SURVIVE

To Adapt Is To Survive
Ivory Dorsey – www.ivorydorsey.com

When it comes to the workplace, many believe “the sky is falling.” I submit that the sky is NOT falling; however, it is indeed, “shifting.” It is shifting toward personal accountability and empowerment. There are many hints supporting this reality—a hint to the wise should be sufficient. It is time to stop looking for jobs and start preparing for and looking for work—there is a difference. The difference lies in the development of “skill-sets.” Even on the job, learn the functions of the job in a way that is transferable; one day you might need to transfer the skill-set to another assignment either within your current organization or without.

It is important to recognize that everything than happens to you that is “different,” is not necessarily bad. In order to remain alert, look for the best in the worse as well as the worse in the best. There will be many interruptions and changes in the midst of chaos; know that and adapt. Mostly, work to ensure you are a part of the solution—not part of the problem.

View the unknown and unexpected detours as a journey to innovation. It is the attitude that determines the altitude—it is not what happens but how you respond to what happens. Shake it off—pack it under.

Finally, remember, survival is about the power of one among others. Examine what you do, why you do it, and what happens if you do not do it. Many tasks are performed based on conditions during another time. As a human, you have the capacity to discern and to discover; it is the only thing that separates you from a computer.

To minimize automation, you must do what automation cannot. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Think, anticipate, act with accountability, and mostly; actively apply the knowledge that you have.

Things will happen that is beyond your control; shake it off and pack it under.

www.ivorydorsey.com

FADE TO LIFE: Breaking the Cycle of Generational Disbelief

Break the cycle of generational disbelief.

The world is moving at a very rapid pace. There are lessons learned already and lessons to be learned. It is time for the generations to learn from the past and to be propelled into the future. Read the April 20, 2006 blogs "Leadership is Life," Part I and II. Engage others in the dialogue, and pass it on. Let's break the cycle of generational disbelief.

FADE TO LIFE: Leadership is Life, Part II

Harness the Power of the Alignment©
www.IvoryDorsey.com-- April 20, 2006

If I can get you to believe what I am about to share with you today, miracles will be unveiled in your life today. Whether you are in the workplace, classroom, or in your home, we will unveil the miracle of who you are—today.

1. You are in a high stakes scavenger hunt called “life” in search of your destiny. Your ultimate purpose in life is hanging in the balance.

2. Your progress in this scavenger hunt will determine whether you are a leader or a follower. It will also determine when you lead and when you follow. Properly engaged in life, you will always be doing both—leading and following.

3. It comes down to leading when you are teaching and following when you are learning. You must always be engaged in one or the other.

4. Every day, something happens to you beyond your knowledge. It is happening without your help.

5. Life is like a banana, whether you do anything or not, it cycles through to its ultimate state of being. (Think about the banana after it is pulled from its source. First it is green and firm. As time passes in it transitions yellow, brown, and ultimately dissipation.) This is a passive/active process.

6. The same happens with humans, with one exception—we get to choose what happens to us. The banana has no role in how it is use or whether or not it is used. Banana pudding, banana bread, or banana split; someone else decides. Humans have the privilege and the power of thought.

7. The challenge I have for you today is to pay attention to the clues you encounter during this high stakes scavenger hunt.

8. Be intentional about your choices. Know that for every choice you make; there will be a corresponding consequence. The consequence will be good or bad. Star Wars is more than fiction—it is a replica of life.

9. As in Star Wars, the forces of good and evil are at work at all times. Your challenge is to ensure the “force” is with you and not against you.

10. The “forces of life” present themselves to you through thoughts, ideas, and other people. You are in a constant state of decision. Know this—pay attention.

11. Your mind is the clearinghouse for good and evil in your life. It is you who decide how it works. If you don’t decide; others will decide for you. It is here, at this juncture, that a person is defined as a leader or a follower.

12. Other people unwittingly decide whether you are a leader or a follower by the alternatives and suggestions they present to you. How you respond to their “agenda” with your life will cast you into your destiny.

13. Other people can and will contribute to the choices you make. However, you alone, will be accountable for the consequences for the choices you make. Choices provide instant and short term gratification. Consequences are usually delayed and extended for better or worse.

14. One moment in time can change your life forever.

15. An old comedy featuring Flip Wilson in the role of Geraldine found Geraldine making bad decisions. When confronted, her response was always: “the devil made me do it.” Her lack of accountability and blaming the devil did not protect her from the consequences of her actions.

16. There is an angel and a devil active in all of us at all times; both reside in our brain. The one that dominates will be the one you feed. Feed the brain what you want it to produce.

17. Remember, the brain is the garden of your life. You get to plant the flowers of thought and action. If you plant nothing, others will plant their flowers in your garden.

18. Don’t let the weeds of conformity, indecision, aimlessness, and idleness take root in the garden of your life—if you do, they will take over. There is a "herd" mentality permeating the world and no one is leading. Break away, walk away, chart your own path.

19. Experiential Leadership is just that. It is rooted out of experiences of your life. All experiences have their origin in your mind.

20. Dare to decide for yourself everything that impacts your life. Large or small, it all matters. Resist conformity and going along to get along.

21. Your body and your mind are the instruments of your life. Protect them as you do any other tools, only more; because the tools of your body and your mind will build the house of who you are.

22. You have the power right now to change your life for the better. You are in perfect alignment for success because you have potential, possibilities, and youth at the exact same time. You are, right now, at the crossroads of your destiny.

23. Choose to align the crossroads of potential, possibilities, and youth and harness the power of the alignment.

"It is futile to focus on external influences.
They are simply the manisfestation of your internal thoughts.
It is NOT what you BOUGHT, but what you THOUGHT,
that BROUGHT you to where you are today.
Think about thinking." --Ivory Dorsey

www.ivorydorsey.com